Having one of those moments where I feel like giving up. My ex-boyfriend and ex-coworker youtuber Exurb1a raped and assaulted me. I spoke out about it online after he first blackmailed me to keep quiet, because I knew the blackmail wouldn't stop otherwise. I was hospitalised the last few months for depression due to the whole shitstorm the relationship caused. He blackmailed me while I was suicidal and hospitalised. Since I spoke out, some people who know about it (some of his reddit/twitter followers mainly) have been harassing me. My name (photoandgrime) is now linked online to his in topics where people say I'm crazy and use drugs around my own autistic son and that I'm a liar and whatnot. This will never go away, until I clear my name. My ex is lucky in a way; he's an anonymous youtuber and his real name is not linked to this. Mine is, because I'm out there (I have a very small channel). So i'm getting the phone-calls. Direct remarks about what I do and how I look and whatnot. My family and friends want me to disappear from the internet, because they don't want to see me hurt. I left the hospital 3 weeks ago and am now in a halfway hospital situation thing. I'm now able to fly back to Bulgaria, and press charges. Most likely I'll never get justice though. The moment the Bulgarian law says 'we cant prove it happened, so he's walking free', he (my ex), can finally speak out and deny what I said (he's stayed silent since I spoke out) because the law did so. If he would, I could possibly face an internet hate-machine (he has almost 300.000 subscribers). So far it was low key (enough to make me feel miserable already though) because he's been banning/hiding posts that were made about the topic on his subreddit (later made them public when his fans complained), so it hasn't reached a lot of people - YET. When I finally release a full statement (wanted to wait until I left the hospital), and when I press charges and the police will let me down (it's Bulgaria.. I tried pressing charges months ago but the police just wasn't helpful), the 'low-key' threats and abuse could turn into something much worse. What would you do? A part of me feels so strong about following all the right steps, fight against rapists and abusers, but so far it seems that they just get away with it, always, and me trying to speak out against it only caused more problems for me. Will this change? Can I get out of this in a better way by following the steps I've been meaning to take these last few months? Is it worth it? I feel like I'm alone in all of this, and that bad always seems to win. Also.. Bulgaria. I don't speak Bulgarian. If there are any kind Bulgarian deviants out there who live in Sofia (where I need to be) that maybe can help me with translating, that would be lovely. But most importantly: what would you do if you were in my situation?