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Having one of those moments where I feel like giving up. My ex-boyfriend and ex-coworker youtuber Exurb1a raped and assaulted me. I spoke out about it online after he first blackmailed me to keep quiet, because I knew the blackmail wouldn't stop otherwise. I was hospitalised the last few months for depression due to the whole shitstorm the relationship caused. He blackmailed me while I was suicidal and hospitalised. Since I spoke out, some people who know about it (some of his reddit/twitter followers mainly) have been harassing me. My name (photoandgrime) is now linked online to his in topics where people say I'm crazy and use drugs around my own autistic son and that I'm a liar and whatnot. This will never go away, until I clear my name. My ex is lucky in a way; he's an anonymous youtuber and his real name is not linked to this. Mine is, because I'm out there (I have a very small channel). So i'm getting the phone-calls. Direct remarks about what I do and how I look and whatnot. My family and friends want me to disappear from the internet, because they don't want to see me hurt. I left the hospital 3 weeks ago and am now in a halfway hospital situation thing. I'm now able to fly back to Bulgaria, and press charges. Most likely I'll never get justice though. The moment the Bulgarian law says 'we cant prove it happened, so he's walking free', he (my ex), can finally speak out and deny what I said (he's stayed silent since I spoke out) because the law did so. If he would, I could possibly face an internet hate-machine (he has almost 300.000 subscribers). So far it was low key (enough to make me feel miserable already though) because he's been banning/hiding posts that were made about the topic on his subreddit (later made them public when his fans complained), so it hasn't reached a lot of people - YET. When I finally release a full statement (wanted to wait until I left the hospital), and when I press charges and the police will let me down (it's Bulgaria.. I tried pressing charges months ago but the police just wasn't helpful), the 'low-key' threats and abuse could turn into something much worse. What would you do? A part of me feels so strong about following all the right steps, fight against rapists and abusers, but so far it seems that they just get away with it, always, and me trying to speak out against it only caused more problems for me. Will this change? Can I get out of this in a better way by following the steps I've been meaning to take these last few months? Is it worth it? I feel like I'm alone in all of this, and that bad always seems to win. Also.. Bulgaria. I don't speak Bulgarian. If there are any kind Bulgarian deviants out there who live in Sofia (where I need to be) that maybe can help me with translating, that would be lovely. But most importantly: what would you do if you were in my situation?

deviantID

Keizie
Flee Spookier
Artist | Professional | Photography
Netherlands
Longtime weed on deviantART. I rarely check this profile, I only update my journal every now and then.

My youtube channel: www.youtube.com/photoandgrime
Blog: www.photoandgrime.com

Current Residence: The Netherlands.
Operating System: My soul
Personal Quote: Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
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:iconjjjmadness:
JJJMadness Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconcelinedgd:
CelineDGD Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017
Hey there. :hug:

I saw your forum thread and well, if you want to chat, I'm here. :hug:

Have a wonderful day. :heart:
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2016
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

On behalf of the birthdays team, I sincerely apologize that your greeting has arrived late this year.

We hope you had an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2016
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconqcc-art:
QCC-Art Featured By Owner May 16, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Enjoy a gallery of fantasy art here:
qcc-art.deviantart.com/gallery…

Compliments of the QCC Art Gallery!
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2015
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2015
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's November 6th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

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Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: silber-englein
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:iconhearsegurl:
HearseGurl Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2015   Photographer
Happy Birthday! :iconspinningcakeplz:
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:iconlintu47:
Lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Misc Emoji (Happy Birthday Bunny n Bear) [PMotes] by Jerikuto
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