This.. I need to explain.

I think.


Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe.

Anyway-

My view and interpretation of this pic from an I perspective (It's not about me, it's in general):

It bothers me a lot that when people submit selfportraits, they often try to depict only their beauty and positive sides. Few people want to look ''FGGN UGLY'' on a picture they show to the world. People make themself look better on pictures. Why are we so afraid of showing a less pretty side of us? Afraid of losing favorites, devwatchers, teh ''nice'' ''OMFG PRETTY'' comments? Sure we are.

I'm not. Not anymore. The mornings I wake up and am completely happy with myself are very rare. Eye circles of bad sleeping, dry skin, bad hair day, it's all daily. Feeling like shit, hating myself and the whole world around me, it's not uncommon. I am not always positive. I am not always happy. Sometimes I can cry without even knowing why. Sometimes I can laugh too, while I have no idea why I do.
Sometimes I look into the mirror, and want to smash it to a thousand pieces. Cut myself with every sharp edge I find, just to feel if I'm still alive, because I sometimes feel so numb, I can hardly believe I am.
Sometimes.

I am not always happy. Though I am not always sad either.
Life's beautiful, but a big shitmess at the same time.
An important thing is to find balance in life. It's hard to compromise, when you have to do it all the time. It's hard to smile, when inside, you feel like shit.

It's hard to fake.
I think we all know.












<sub>About the make-up:
White & black & red paint. Mascara. Redness in eye caused by putting white paint in eyes to make them tear more. Lot of tearing. (Don't ask)

had a lot of inspiration on this one.



Look at me, you can tell
By the way I move and do my hair
Do you think that it's me or it's not me?
I don't even care

I'm alive
I don't smell
I'm the cleanest I have ever been.
I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry

Just look at me, look at me now
I'm a fake

I'm a fake - The Used

**


Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

Mad World - Gary Jules.

**

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I cant feel it right now,
I thought I was doing well but I just want to cry now,

Well I know that its a wonderful world
from the sky down to the sea,
but I can only see when you're here, here with me.

Wonderful World - James Morrison

**

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

Creep - Radiohead

**

Please help me stay awake, Im falling...
Asleep in perfect blue buildings
Beside the green apple sea
Gonna get me a little oblivion, baby
Try to keep myself away from me

Perfect Blue Buildings - Counting Crows

**

Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin
Apologize for all my sins
All the things I should have said to you

Hey, I can't make it go away
Over and over in my brain again
All the things I should have said to you

Hey, I'll take this day by day by day
Under the covers I'm okay I guess
Life's too short and i feel small

Counting Stars - Sugarcult

**

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

All That I've got - The Used

**

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that

Someday - Nickelback

**

Innocence gone
Never take friendship personal
If you can't hold yourself together
why should I hold you now?

Oh, oh, oh, you lie
Tell me something more than what you tried to hide
If you can't find yourself
Then how can i expect to find you
oh, oh, oh, you cry
Tell me something more than what you try
The greatest tragedy is not your death
but a life without reason
life has no purpose
a life has no reason
life has no purpose

Never Take Friendship Personal - Aberlin

**

Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer or we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Swing Life Away- Rise Against

**

Just in case you were wondering.



Thank you for viewing, thank you for support, thank you for taking time..


**

© Pieke Elisabeth Rosa Roelofs.

Also known as Keizie on deviantart or Butterbee at Hyves ([link]).</sub>